Mélodie Nelson

1. « What do you do when you encounter an escort with warts? » (Oh. Gosh. Se sauver en courant ou la lécher avec bonheur et naïveté?)

2. « Can you get an STD from a handjob? » (Si elle ne se lave pas les mains après avoir fait pipi, ça doit être très très dangereux.)

3. « J’aime bien les files qui gémissent. Pas vous? Pourquoi on n’en parle jamais? Et celle qui ne font pas juste gémir, mais qui ronronnent, c’est incroyable, non? »

4. « Is Ron Jeremy the ugliest person in porn? » (Personnellement, j’ai très peur des mamies de quatre-vingt ans qui sucent la queue de gentils infirmiers dans des maisons de retraite.)

5. « How to recognize counterfeit Viagra? » (Quand tu fais une crise cardiaque avant même de bander.)

6. « I’m looking for an unshaved escort. Should I go back to the 80’s? Those were the good old days. »

7. « Has anyone recently been to a masseuse that was Indian or Pakistani recently? I only find one reference, and it was about the 40-something lady who’s phone is now disconnected. »

8. « Je me demande si les filles sont vraiment plus heureuses avec un pénis de douze pouces. Avez-vous déjà essayé un produit qui est supposé élargir votre pénis? »

9. « Has anyone been to Cuba? I need to know about what goes on with the cigars as well as the girls in Habana. I am also interested in the Cuban rhum. Is it worth bringing back?»

10. « I was wondering if you could recommend a good looking MILF who looks healthy. I prefer slim woman with a pretty face who looks elegant and dresses nicely. Budget is not an issue. Not expecting high mileage either. » (C’est vrai que les MILF qui ont l’air d’avoir le cancer et qui s’habillent en trailer park trash, c’est moins excitant.)

11. « A couple of years ago, I was with a woman who was ten years younger than me. We would hang out and she would have fun pointing out our age difference. Her single mother was always hanging around too. We’s sit on the couch with one on either side of me watching TV. There were times when I connected a lot better with the older lady, but in general there was a happy threesome happening conversationally. Unfortunately, I never pushed my luck on this happening in the bedroom with a mother-daugter combo for a dish I’ll call Mo-Da (Mother-Daughter). There was also a very slutty daughter in the picture wich even I find offensive to think about combining into an another fantasy dish called Gra-Mo-Da (Granny-Mom-Daughter). Have you ever had or wanted one of these dishes? »